Tala's Quest

I Met A Dali

2011-02-13T15:28:00.006+08:00

I Met A Dali

He paints life with words
and
seduces my soul with laugher

I don't know where he came from
But he just appeared
dressed in white topped with a smile

On a hot breezy afternoon
He suspended time
and altered reality

I don't know where he is going
But it doesn't matter
I met a Dali

His wit flames my imagination
and
unleashes unbridled passion

I touched a Dali

I wonder if they see him too?
I don't care though,
I know he saw me.

In the glint of a wink.

As The Rabbit Hops In

2011-02-03T00:32:00.006+08:00

The biggest snowstorm in decades is causing chaos in the US from Mexico to Maine, affecting more than 30 states.

Hundreds of thousands protest relentlessly in Cairo for Mubarak to quit.

A category 5 cyclone that is 5 times larger than Larry is sweeping through Queensland, a state just reeling from devastating floods.

Hopefully the Rabbit has better things in store for us.

Kong Hee Fatt Choy to all who celebrate the Chinese Lunar New Year. For those of us living in peace and unaffected by natural disasters it is indeed good fortune beyond measure.

May all those living in fear and turmoil find a safe haven once again.

Missing from USJ 23 - Bo the Retriever

2011-01-28T14:18:00.005+08:00

Missing from USJ 23 Petronas station (along the LDP-Hicom highway)

Wearing a red collar

Last seen being fed by a man and taken away in a car.

No description of man or car available.

Please call Karen at 016-3711313

Please do spread the word around. He belongs to a loving family of 3 little boys who love him dearly.

2011-01-15T14:40:00.001+08:00

Nothing pleasures the soul more

than doing the things you love

with awesome people.

Have a fabulous 2k11 Emagineers!

Vietnamese Stall, BB Plaza

2011-01-03T15:13:00.002+08:00

Vietnamese Fresh Spring Rolls

Delicious Beef Ball Noodles

Tao, Sunway Giza

2011-01-03T15:07:00.001+08:00

All you can eat Japanese Buffet

Magnificient Fish & Chips, Changkat Bukit Bintang

2011-01-03T15:05:00.002+08:00

Battered Barramundi

Jln Alor, Bukit Bintang

2011-01-03T15:00:00.003+08:00

Kangkung Belachan

Fried Tanghoon

Battered Squid

Chicken Wings

Even A Moron With A Dream

2011-01-03T13:05:00.003+08:00

Publisher: RYTHM House

Author: Pathman Seniathirajah

Arabic Translation Supervision: Cecelia Alphonsus

18 Stepping Stones

2011-01-03T13:00:00.006+08:00

Publisher: RYTHM House

Author: Vijay Eswaran

Junior Editor & Backcover Copywriting: Cecelia Alphonsus

Farsi Translation Supervision: Cecelia Alphonsus

Vijay Eswaran is back with Stepping Stones another enlightening guide to life.

This introduction to the 18 concepts which he calls the 18 Step “A” Plan to Life, is a lifesaver of a book. Ideal for all age groups, it allows you to recharge and realign your life, whatever your background.

Eswaran is an enigmatic captain of industry who has garnered quite a following for his past literary endeavours. In the Sphere of Silence (now in its second print run) and In the Thinking Zone have captured the hearts and minds of readers around the world.

Stepping Stones is yet another deeply enriching book from the author that is not only a beautiful respite from our chaotic world but a compass to help us set a course for our lives.

The Gem Collection - A Compilation of Wisdom

2011-01-03T12:41:00.004+08:00

Publisher: RYTHM House

Author: Joseph T. Bismark

Junior Editor & Back Cover Copywriting: Cecelia Alphonsus

Farsi Translation Supervision: Cecelia Alphonsus

Joseph T.Bismark is a master at taking aphorisms and turning them into an engaging read.

Drawing from wisdom gained from eclectic experiences that include a childhood spent in an ashram and a high-profile career in a global conglomerate, Bismark expounds on simple truths learned through the ages and applies them to personal and professional development.

In a blend of stories that can best be described as Aesop meets Steven Covey, the parables in this remarkable collection have already inspired thousands through the blog “Gems of Wisdom”

In today's fast-paced world, where the focus for many is on monetary wealth, “The Gem Collection- A Compilation of Wisdom” is a reminder that true wealth stems from a life that is lived in harmony with oneself and the people around us.

Makyung; Warisan Mistik Malaysia

2011-01-03T12:36:00.002+08:00

Publisher: ITNM

Compiled By: Rahimidin Zahari & Sutung Omar

Editorial Concept & Supervision: Cecelia Alphonsus

Makyung; The Mystical Heritage of Malaysia

2011-01-03T12:31:00.002+08:00

Publisher: ITNM

Compiled By: Rahimidin Zahari & Sutung Omar

Translator: Cecelia Alphonsus

Editorial Supervision: Cecelia Alphonsus

Christmas, New Year's Eve & 2 Jan 2010

2011-01-03T12:05:00.004+08:00

Celia's Seafood Pie

2011-01-03T11:13:00.003+08:00

Ingredients (For Filling)

2 pkts of frozen seafood combo (crabs, shrimps, squid)

1 pkt of mussel meat

1 pkt of scallops

1 can of clam chowder (which includes cubes of fish)

1 can of Prego's Portobello Mushroom spaghetti sauce

1 big stalk of celery

1 small pkt of baby carrots

1 big yellow onion

Mozzarella Light cheese

McCormick garlic parsley

Chicken stock granules

Salt & Pepper

Olive oil

For Pastry

Pampas Shortcrust Pastry (5 sheets in one packet)

Method:

1. Chop celery, carrots and onions into tiny squares

2. Heat up olive oil in a pot (cover the whole base of the pot)

3. Sautee celery carrots and onions till soft and onions have caramelised

4. Chuck all seafood into pot, lower heat and nicely stir them with the celery, carrots & onions

5. Pour in clam chowder, stir

6. Season with garlic parsley, chicken stock granules

7. Stir in a few tablespoons of Prego's Portobello mushroom concentrate

8. Season to taste with salt & pepper

9. Turn off heat, add half packet of Mozzarella light cheese to thicken filling.

Preparing Pie Pastry

1. Line pie tin with butter

2. Sprinkle flour into pie tin

3. Roll out one sheet of pastry to desired thickness & width

4. Place it on pie tin, firmly pressing it down and to the side

5. Scoop filling into pie tin, leaving about an inch on the top

6. Sprinkle some mozzarella cheese

7. Roll out another sheet of pastry and cover pie tin, cutting off the excess pastry along the sides

8. Use a fork and make a pattern around the edge and poke lightly all over pie

9. Beat an egg and glaze the pie generously with it.

9. Preheat oven to 250C

10. When putting pie to bake, turn down heat to 175C

11. Check after 15 minutes for golden brown color.

Sometimes Love Comes Around

2010-10-25T10:51:00.003+08:00

but we don't see it for what it is

because we think they are all they same.

Every Night I Ask Myself...

2010-06-17T22:29:00.002+08:00

Destiny, Fate or Coincidence?

2010-06-17T22:16:00.005+08:00

For the first time

Mind, Body, Heart and Soul
For the first time
Silence can speak
For the first time Souls ignited, Awakened.
For the first time Barriers torn down
Like you were always in
Never out
For the first time
Content

I Can't Wait...

2010-06-17T22:14:00.001+08:00

I Believe This And I Think You Do Too...

2010-06-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

But You Already Know That...

2010-06-17T22:06:00.001+08:00

All Your Love

2010-06-17T21:58:00.002+08:00

All the love I miss lovin'
All the kiss I miss kissin'
And before I met you baby
I didn't know what I was missin'

Why Little Girls Turn Into Messed Up Bitches

2010-04-21T08:37:00.002+08:00

GANBATE!

2010-04-18T11:43:00.002+08:00

You Know Life Is Good When...

2010-03-15T08:43:00.006+08:00

.....you have someone to turn a frown into a smile
.....you know someone understands the pain in your heart
.....you look across a room and a grin dissolves into a fit of laughter

.....you are single but don't mind it

.....you can act like a complete idiot & know its fine

.....you know at any time of the day or night, someone is there for you

Viva La Sistahood!

What If I Never Find Who To Belong To?

2010-02-16T23:28:00.006+08:00

Where are you? I am tired of the players, the fuckbuddies, the MBAs. I just want YOU. To love, be loved, to share, to give, to take, to laugh, to cry, to grumble, to talk, to argue, to entice, to stimulate, to teach, to learn...

To Live.

To-Gether.

If Only...

2010-02-16T17:37:00.007+08:00

I could be utterly loved by you.

I Miss

2010-02-16T17:21:00.002+08:00

... coffee time chats
... good morning grunts
... sullen wry smiles
... parking lot races
... geeky history trivia

But what I miss the most is knowing that all I would ever have is the memory of one early dawn where you and I were in the right place at the right time.

Almost doing the wrong thing that felt so right.

It is sad, that the most fun I ever had was a non-date with you and the most satisfied I have ever felt sexually, and you were not even in me at all.

My best friend, Wolfie

2010-01-16T17:51:00.003+08:00

I have had many best friends. They have come in all shapes, sizes and age.

For the past few years, I have made many good friends but none, that I would say was typically "best friend" material.

But lately, I have found there is one person, whom I can't wait to share every little detail with. Who I am dating, who I am seeing, the evil things I did, the bitch I wanna smack, the idiot I want to run over...He laughed with me, he plotted and indulged my devil-may-care ways.

When my back was against the wall, my heart, twisted and torn, he was there for me. My rock.

I didn't realise how much I missed my Wolfie, till I saw him again last night. The first for 2010.

How awesome he looked. How good he felt close against my body. How gently his lips caressed mine.

How I laugh when I am with him, he makes every problem I have feel like a feather on my shoulders.

I never ever thought, he would come through for me when I was at my most desperate. Never occurred to me, to ask his help.

Yet, he took my hands into his, and looked me straight in the eye and said "Foxy, you know you can always count on me."

And my Wolfie meant it.

With those words, I breathed again. With those words I realised my Wolfie, my tall, blond surfer, guitar playing boy, with dreamy eyes, the voice of a sex god and an unsatiable thirst for anything cute in a skirt, was more than just a "pretty face".

He truly is my best friend.

Black Friday

2010-01-09T02:24:00.004+08:00

Today, I said that I was sad that I didn't give a damn anymore.

But I was wrong. My heart was too numb to feel and my brain was in shock.

4 churches attacked, 2 sides of the same coin in disharmony, 1 Malaysia a joke.

I couldn't focus on work and I really didn't know why. It went beyond finding out what the latest news was and to sift the truth from the lies.

But later, as I was driving home, I understood why.

For the first time in my life, I was truly afraid to be in my own country.

A Song from Fear

2010-01-04T01:25:00.002+08:00

For Tala and Leah...

This is my song for my special two...
They helped me find a part of me i never knew...
Or was it a part of me that i have forgotten or died?
Or something i never had in the 1st place...or was it something i tried to hide?

*Do wap Dap(You gals wanted this part right?)

Sisters from another mother...Or sisters from a lifetimes before?
No matter...They still saved what was left of my humanity..When i was already at the brink of Death's door...
To a total stranger they extended their hands...
That moment on we came like family...more than friends..

They say behind every successful man there is a woman...I'm blessed cause i found two...
Ever since i found them...my Grey skies are turning to a lighter shade of blue....
Can't really remember when was the last time i was even called a man....
But when i found these two two angels....I slowly grew to learn..To know...To understand...

This is my song....A tribute for the unconditional love that they have shown to me...
For the two lovely angels that will help me shape my destiny...
This song may not be perfect..I know it's sad but true...Maybe for the moment this is all that i can do...
But Tala and Leah...From the bottom of my heart...With love This song is for the both of you.....

Written by: EGQ

2010

2010-01-04T01:09:00.002+08:00

A decade into the new millennium.

A new beginning with family.

A new career beckons.

A new love on the horizon.

A new me emerging.

Christmas Isn't Christmas

2009-12-26T03:21:00.002+08:00

till you feel it in your heart.

It's a feeling that i have been numb to for almost a decade. Every year since my dad became estranged from his family, Christmas has been a lonely, quiet affair. Oh the trimmings were there, Christmas trees and lights around the house. Gifts amongst the three of us and lovely treats that we wouldn't normally splurge on. We consoled ourselves, that all we really needed was the three of us.

But I wasn't feeling Christmas in my heart. Every year it was with a tinge of sadness and a longing for the yuletide celebrations I knew as a child.

God works in mysterious way and a couple of months ago, Dad reunited with his family. And this Christmas was the first in a long time that I feel truly happy. For a long time, I have always considered myself alone in the world because I am an only child.

But tonight, if I didn't realise it before, I know it now, I am not alone. I have beautiful cousins who adore me and their children look out for me. If anything, amidst all the laugher, food, music and gaiety, I realised I belonged to a beautiful family.

I am blessed. And I am so happy.

Christmas is really about family. Not decorations and expensive presents. Its about family coming together to cherish one another.

Felice Navidad!

Why Do We Keep Losing

2009-12-25T18:35:00.004+08:00

parts of ourselves to love?

Why do we believe we are not whole on our own, till a man loves us?

Why do we give our heart away instead of sharing our heart with another?

Why do we forget our friends & family when a man finally loves us?

Why do we think he deserves all of us?

Why do we let him take our dreams for the sake of "us"?

Why do we slowly disappear and become one with him?

Why do we give up our name when we marry?

Why do we allow a joint email account or a facebook account?

Why do we feel a committed relationship is a surrendering of our soul, our very being?

Why do we suppress our individuality?

Why do we slowly fade into couplehood and cease being whole?

On our own.

Aren't we capable of loving without slowly losing pieces of ourselves?

We've had a life before him and its great to want to share your life with him. But there will be a day when you wonder where you lost yourself to him.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

-Kahlil Gibran-

My Winter's Tale...

2009-12-24T17:33:00.001+08:00

The nights are colder now
Maybe I should close the door
And anyway the snow has covered all your footsteps
I can follow you no more
The fire still burns at night
My memories are warm and clear
But everybody knows it's hard to be alone
At this time of year
It was only a winter's tale
Just another winter's tale
And why should the world take notice
Of one more love that's failed
It's a love that could never be
Though it meant a lot to you and me
On a world wide scale
It's just another winter's tale
Why I stand alone
A bell is ringing far away
I wonder if you hear
I wonder if you're listening
I wonder where you are today
Good luck I wish you well
For all that wishes may be worth
I hope that love and strength
Are with you for the length of your time on earth
It was only a winter's tale
Just another winter's tale
And why should the world take notice
Of one more love that's failed
It's a love that could never be
Though it meant a lot to you and me
On a world wide scale
It's just another winter's tale

-David Essex-

Bound & Tied

2009-12-21T01:07:00.002+08:00

I wish I was Houdini
so I could untie the bind I am in

It's Yours

2009-12-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

to tear apart and break.
Just didn't expect you to do it all in a day.

Haven't I Had Enough Grief Already?

2009-12-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

Yet you seem to think that what's stopping me from being with you, is just my choice?
You hurt me today. You made me cry. It hurts more because you are always the one who wipes my tears away, not the cause of them.

Letting Go?

2009-12-21T00:34:00.001+08:00

I can't. If you can, go ahead and let me believe in fate.

To Love Or Not To Love?

2009-12-18T21:07:00.002+08:00

How can I say yes when I can't tell what I feel?
How can I say what I feel when you don't want to hear it?

How can you know me so well and not know?
How could you make me do it when I said no?

How can you miss me and not say it?
How can you say you love me and not want it?

How can I love you?

You Didn't Know

2009-12-08T03:04:00.003+08:00

How that quiet Sunday afternoon
was all I needed
Just you and me
snuggled against each other
chatting about our lives

The music playing in the background
Your fingers running through my hair
My cheek rubbing against the bristle on your chest
Your arms holding me tight
Your hands caressing my arm

I love how we go from laughter one minute
to talking about the darker things in life
I love how you understand my pain
And put it into words that I haven't spoken
I love how you think of me when you know I need you

I guess I didn't know
Just how much you have come to mean to me
And I bet you didn't know
that you've become my best friend
On a lazy Sunday afternoon

If I doubted it before, I don't anymore
Where ever life may lead us, to which ever shore
Together or alone
I know in my heart, I found a friend
For life, didn't you know?

The Road Less Traveled

2009-12-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

is sometimes a bitter price to pay
for the adventure of the unknown
familiar comforts are left astray

I chose this road, and this is where I am
Alone, weary from my journey
I see the horizon I seek
But may no longer want

Its too late to turn back now
To that place in time
Where I turned from you
for the glory of the road less traveled.

But Sometimes

2009-11-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

This is why

2009-11-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

I have learned to stop loving

I Am Beginning To Wonder...

2009-11-29T00:21:00.001+08:00

No I Am NOT Fine!

2009-11-29T00:12:00.001+08:00

For Once

2009-11-28T23:53:00.002+08:00

I rather be loved truly by one
than adored by many....

Clenched Soul

2009-11-28T23:21:00.004+08:00

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

-Pablo Neruda-

God's Heart

2009-11-08T11:44:00.003+08:00

Some of us believe that we are created in God's image. I believe that if we are then surely dogs must be reflections of His heart.
All loving, all protective, all forgiving, that's what we know of God's love for us. Now show me a dog who is not all that and more?

They are by your side even when you don't realize they are there. Looking up at you, hoping for a pat on the head, they are just so happy you are near.
When you come home, tired from work, they greet you like you have been to the moon and back. Tongues drooling, tails wagging, they woof in glee.
My master is home. My mistress is back. The world is all good now.

When you sleep at night, its with a little more comfort. You know that the moment the scent of a stranger reaches your doggie's nose, he will sound the alert.
However tiny or big he is, he will protect you to the death.
You are the centre of his universe. The alpha wolf of his pack. The greatest hunter that ever lived.
While everyone around you can pick out a dozen or more of your faults, to your dog you are just perfect.

How often we forget that in an unforgiving world, all we need to do is to look into the eyes of our canine friend and at once know the feeling of unconditional love.
They search for us when we are hurt and lost. They guide us when we are blind. They comfort us when there is no medical cure for our pain. They protect our home, our families and our property. They track criminals, protect our country and our coastlines. Sometimes they are the only friend of the lonely, the forgotten, the poor, the beggar on the street. They don't discriminate against us.

Yet, we are hardly worthy of their love and devotion.

We cage them, whip them, starve them. We ignore and bark orders at them harshly and feed them leftovers. We hardly care if they are warm or sheltered from the elements. Worse, some of us discard them once they have grown out of their cute puppy ways. Others blindly believe they are "unclean" and treat them like lepers, that somehow just grazing against their body would turn them into a disintegrating pulp of human flesh. Others love them just a little too much and cook them instead.

Yes, we are hardly worthy of their love, yet they love us anyway.

It is not a coincidence that a dog is spelled "d-o-g".
He is the reflection of "g-o-d" in our midst.
Cherish God's heart who is with you now a little more. One day all too soon, he won't be there.
For one, whose tail wags no more, be comforted knowing he still watches over you. And if you close your eyes and be still, you can almost feel his breath against your skin.

-In memory of all the dogs who have loved us, the all-supreme furry friends who made our childhood spectacular, the wise hounds who told us who was a keeper and who to ditch, the all-comforting warmth in our beds at night when we silently cry ourselves to sleep at night, the "baby" that makes our family, a family and the nanny that protects our children. If only we can love them half as much as they love us.-

New Man In My Life

2009-10-21T01:40:00.004+08:00

I never thought I would feel the way I do today. I miss understanding your silences. Or knowing why you look the way you do. I miss the comfort of knowing your thoughts before you speak them but most of all I miss the way you knew me.
It's hard with him. We don't speak the same language and he hasn't a clue about how I tick.
You knew the buttons to push
And I knew why.
Everyday without you, I cherish you more for all you have been.
But maybe he's what I need now, the chisel to find the diamond within.
The difference though between you and him, you knew it was there all the while but you left it to me to shine. Him? I don't think he knows what lies beneath the surface of me.

The Kiss

2009-10-17T23:56:00.004+08:00

Just a gentle little kiss that started it all. A kiss between your lips and mine. Soft and tender, moist and yielding. The tender flicker of your tongue against mine.

The unexpected kiss, triggering a flood of emotions. Tactile sensations and mild euphoria.
The comforting kiss, amidst tears and crushing disappointment, your mouth seeked mine and I melted into you.
Countless stolen kisses, some a prelude to a carnal feast while others a gentle peck.
Some furtive while in the grips of passion. Others just lascivious and taunting as we toyed with each other.
We kissed in daylight, behind closed doors, stealing a moment. At times our mouths locked in hungry embrace under the cover of night. Our fingers grazing each others bodies. Tingling. Our lips would soon follow, our tongues leaving a glistening trail on our bare skin.

Then a void. A vacuum. A malevolent gift of the folly rippled by a heart spurned.

In solitary silence, amidst clouds of anger and drizzling hurt, the lips yearned, beseeching a forgiving kiss that remained elusive.

Till an unexpected night, under the shadow of the Pyramid, my lips asked yours for a kiss. A kiss to say I was sorry and then walk away.

But then, your tongue met mine and I didn't want to say good bye. Now, unshackled and free, the lips want more than stolen kisses and hurried smooches.

The angel has unclasped her broken wings and unhooked her tainted halo. Her moist and swollen lips moans a kiss from you to unleash the devil within her. Lean closer, into me and surrender every fantasy, every desire your body trembles for as I curl my lips around you.

Rising From The Ashes

2009-09-15T23:47:00.003+08:00

Into my faith, I am Renewed

Into my soul, I am Rejuvenated

Into my desires, I am Rejoicing

Proud To Be A BITCH!

2009-08-15T01:00:00.004+08:00

Being a bitch means
I stand up for myself and my beliefs
I stand up for those I love
I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my way
I won't compromise what's in my heart
I live my life my way
I won't allow anyone to step on me
I refuse to tolerate injustice
It means I have the courage and
strength to allow myself to be me.
So try to stomp on me, douse my inner flame
Squash every ounce of beauty I hold within
You won't succeed
And if that makes me a Bitch.
So be it.
I embrace the title and I'm proud to be a BITCH!

The Winner Stands Alone

2009-08-14T10:44:00.004+08:00

I waited for Paulo Coelho's latest book just as how I waited for all the other books he had written. Breathless and full of anticipation longing to embark on a journey where only the master story teller can create.

I adore Paulo but I have to say The Winner Stands Alone disappointed me. This latest novel of his is set during the Cannes Film Festival and it follows the lives of the "Superclass" and those aspiring to penetrate it. Budding directors, actresses, models, Paulo narrates their ambition, their despair and the lengths they go to achieve their desires.

A dark cloud hovers above all these wannabes in the form of Igor, a spurned husband from the Superclass who has stalked his ex-wife, Ewa to Cannes where she is accompanying her current husband, Hamid, an Arab designer who is also a member of the Superclass. Igor is on a mission to destroy "worlds" to gain the attention of Ewa and as a testament to how much he loves her. Standard modus operandi of your average Psychopath.

However there is nothing average about Igor and the methods in which he employs to destroy "worlds" is indeed morbidly fascinating.

If this story was spun by someone other than Paulo, without a doubt, I would have enjoyed it as how I would have devoured any other novel about murder; with pure macabreish lust.

But it was Paulo and because it was Paulo, my expectations were totally at another level.

When I flip the pages of a Coelho novel, there is almost always an instant connection with the protagonist. Male or female, I relate to their feelings, their desires and their quest. Through that, as I read their story, slowly it becomes my story. And when the final word is read, I close the book with hope that I am not alone with my feelings and emotions about life. There is a higher ideal that I strive for and gives my life a sense of purpose.

I could not find that connection with Igor or Ewa or Gabriela or Jasmine. I was merely a voyeur into their lives, intruding a world I didn't belong in nor desired to be part of. Greed and shallowness are the central theme of this book and it has no place in my life.

I was completely disconnected from it and that is where the disappointment lies. But Paulo Coelho is indeed a master storyteller because he vividly brought the life of the Superclass to the ordinary masses. It is a world where only a few are privileged to be part of while the rest of us minions are their slaves, glued to the silver screen to worship their acting and hounds of the fashion they create.

The parable I received from this book was the fact that the genius of Paulo Coelho doesn't lie in the enjoyment his readers get from his books. It's the fact that he can bring a life so far away from yours and make it real enough for you to understand eventhough you may not relate to everything in that life.

I guess that's why this is indeed a remarkable book eventhough I didn't enjoy reading it the way I read other Coelho books.

The Winner Stands Alone. So does the Reader but with better understanding of the world of greed, power & superficiality.

Where's My Drover?

2009-08-07T22:31:00.000+08:00

Lady Sarah Ashley: I'm just as capable as any man.... bring the horse.
Drover: Well this should be interesting.

Drover: They keep out of my way and I keep out of theirs.

Lady Sarah Ashley: Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be.

Lady Sarah Ashley: I will come and find you whatever happens, whatever it takes.

Drover: You are going to have to be strong. Can you do that?

Blood Can't Be For My Own Good

2009-08-07T22:23:00.003+08:00

You say you are doing it for me
that you have my best interests at heart
Then tell me why this heart
is crushed, broken and bleeding?

Baby Blue

2009-08-07T22:08:00.003+08:00

Ice cold blue
slithering warmth
dead dark grey
shimmering heat

kiss from a rose
blood from thorns
tears from stone
beating heart still

baby blue
piercing soul
my shadow
for you
to keep

Window of Opportunity

2009-08-06T22:09:00.004+08:00

A couple of months ago, I wrote an entry about friends who are Masters and Mistresses of their own Destiny. Brave people who started their own companies and doing what they love.

I never expected to be pushed to join the ranks of the self-employed trail blazers soon after that post.

But pushed I was and I tumbled. Grazed and bruised I picked myself up. And I found myself staring through an open window where the world beckoned.

I heeded the call and took a leap of faith. I am kept flying in the wind by strong air currents. They are my family and my friends. Well, my true friends, you find out who they are when you are down.

But what anchors me is this strong sense of destiny that I am finally on the path that is meant for me. I do not know where it will lead but it is, finally my path.

The Road Not Taken

2009-08-06T16:27:00.002+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

2009-08-06T01:31:00.003+08:00

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

Pablo Neruda

I Do..I Don't..Do I?

2009-08-06T00:37:00.002+08:00

Some girls wait a life time for a man on bended knee with a ring in his hand proclaiming undying love. I didn’t have to wait a lifetime and I had three. Well, they weren’t all on bended knee but it was rings they wanted to put on my finger, making me theirs, intricately binding my life with their own. It would have been spectacular if all three did it at the same time. Saying I do to all would have made for some very interesting nights. French on Mondays, Portuguese on Wednesdays, English on Fridays and a continental buffet over the weekends.

Ooolala…I can’t seem to run away from my as yet unfulfilled sexual fantasy of being the object of pure carnal lust of two men or more. Hmmm… I am still holding on with hope that some naughty dreams of mine will come true someday. Life is difficult for a discerning nympho who finds it hard to give sexual trust. Yet at the same time I get easily aroused by men who excel in verbal foreplay. And I certainly don’t mean phrases like “oh baby I wanna fuck you so badddd!”. If that floated my boat, I would be a happy pussy listening to Akon and 50 cent every night.

Just how can I say “I do” and know that I can never have the pleasure of toying with a man using all my charms of seduction ever again? How do I give up the thrill of kissing a new pair of lips and feeling the excitement of the moment when a stranger turns into a lover. Or when a friend you have spent years teasing and taunting suddenly decides to put his tongue down your throat and his hands slip under your bra, squeezing the very breasts he had only seen glimpses of. How do you match sudden surges of excitement like this with the routine and predictable sex you will be having with your beloved spouse? It is what grown ups do you say, they settle down and have kids! But what if settling down and playing mommy isn’t all that I want?

My very own Cristiano left me terrified of men who try to kill the very essence of me that attracted them in the first place. “Your top is too low, my friends are staring at your boobs”. “You are my girlfriend, stop chatting with my friends, you are flirting with them aren’t you?” I endured three years of playing the submissive and passive girlfriend. An attachment to his arm while we went drinking and playing pool with his endless stream of rowdy and socially dysfunctional friends. I endured. Until he accused me of having an affair with my colleague. If it were fucking true, I wouldn’t have minded but what snapped within me was that he sucked all the joy and happiness I had in just being me. And I wasn’t even being unfaithful to him!

And then there was Pierce. I had never expected to find yet alone, fall in love with a man like Pierce. He was captivated by every aspect of me. It turned him on watching me tease and flirt with his buddies and when we got home, the sex was phenomenal. With him, I could totally let go and just be that wanton slut that I am and he didn’t judge. Nothing was too perverse, nothing was taboo. From bondage to a vixen in knee high boots, a corset and whip. I was his Madame, his slut, his sex toy, his lover. Surprising him at work in the middle of the day for a quickie in the helicopter to smoking joints and riding him on a bobbing boat in the middle of the sea. It was never predictable, it was always fun. I trusted him completely. So much that I wanted so badly to give him a threesome with a Filipina bar maid who caught his eye.

I was excited and terrified all at the same time. Unsure of what I was doing and how I was going to feel. It helped that she and I got along fabulously. Fair with an angelic face and dark hair, she turned heads where ever she went. The body helped as well I suppose. I watched her undress, he seemed mesmerized till he turned to look at me with eyes that were filled with so much love. I can never forget the sight of her mouth sliding down his cock and as he threw his head back in pleasure and pulled me towards him, kissing me with such ferocity that I thought he was going to cum there and then.

There were ground rules, he couldn’t fuck her. Hey, it was my first ever 3some with a man I was in love with so of course I was a tad possessive! And he couldn’t kiss her forehead. For some strange reason, I have always associated kissing someone’s forehead as being the most intimate gesture of affection. He has been the only one who has done it to me and apart from Pierce, I have only kissed Stallion on the forehead.

I really didn’t have to worry because all Pierce seemed interested in doing was to give me a fucking that left me sore for days.

I almost said I do to Pierce, but I didn’t and now I wonder, do I really want the I dos? Maybe with a man who doesn’t want to change me and shares the same sexual drive I do and yearns to explore new experiences, feelings and sensations. A man who understands that I have a life, respects my secrets and doesn’t question my past. A man who is confident and comfortable in his own skin, who doesn’t need me but chooses to be with me.

If that man exists, then maybe I do.

As The Rain Falls

2009-08-06T00:10:00.003+08:00

The night becomes cooler and the rhythmic pounding of raindrops outside my window lull me into a semi-conscious state. I am stretched out on my bed wearing nothing but a silly little smile and a thin white cotton t-shirt. I know what I want is something that is probably never going to happen but you should know me by now. I never play by the rules. I make those up as I go along in life. Only to break them when ever I feel like it. Although nothing even remotely sexual happened today, just the lingering scent of you makes my body tingle.

I let my hands wander, teasing my nipples through my t-shirt, making them hard and erect, imagining the bristles of your mustache against their delicate skin, your lips gently sucking on them. Slowly my hands move down my tummy and I let my fingers find the bottom hem of my shirt, slowly pulling it up, imaging it was your hands, remembering how it felt like. A little moan escaped my lips and my hand slipped into my panties finding my pussy lips wet and moist. I couldn’t believe how wet I was and blamed it on the combination of the rain and the fact that I have been practically virginal since June! I know you would never believe me though.

Anyway, this is my fantasy right now and I can imagine just about anything as I caress my clit gently. I have never told you just how sexy I think your smooth chest is. I absolutely love licking it all over and sucking on your hard and erect nipples. I close my eyes and imagine you lying between my legs and I have this big grin on my face. For the countless times I have kneeled between yours, I have you now in my mind, just about to pleasure me the same way. I run my finger over my swollen clit and feel my body quiver. My other fingers stretch out across my vaginal mound gently squeezing it.

I begin to make light circles around my clit while teasing the opening of my vagina with my middle finger. I moan as I recall your voice in the darkness asking me to cum for you. I quicken the pace with my fingers and alternate between rubbing the hard swollen little nub and plunging my finger into my very wet pussy, squeezing it hard as I imagine it is your cock inside of me.

My breathing quickens and I moan with each breath. Writhing from side to side, I clutch at my breasts almost violently as I feel the familiar stirring from deep within my body and I start to lose myself in the memory of your voice when you are turned on and lusting for sexual release. I pull my hand away from my pussy and quickly ransack my cupboard, looking for Willie. My trusty vibrator that has seen much better days. After what seems like an eternity, I find him and then realise that I am out of batteries. Rubbing my thighs together, I try to keep my clit stimulated as I search for batteries and finally decide to use the ones from my TV remote.

I hurried back to my bed, quickly shedding off all pieces of clothing before sprawling out on my queen sized bed, legs apart I place Willie against my clit and gasp at the sensation. I squirm as I play with my breasts, running my hands all over my stomach and the undersides of my breasts while Willie obediently whirrs against my clit, engorging it further and inducing even more wetness. I begin to roll my nipples in between my fingers and massage my large breasts. Wondering what it would feel like if I was doing this on 3G for you where you watch me masturbate knowing that it is a show just for you, born out of passion for you.

The thought of you watching me as I masturbate sends me into a heightened state of arousal. Every inch of my body is tingling at the thought of you and I want to cum so badly. The buzz of the vibrator seems to get louder and I pull my knees up against my chest and open them wide. Willie almost drowns. I am so horny that my hips start squirming against the bed and I push against the vibrator, imagining that I was grinding against your hips.

Your voice purrs through my mind again, the vibrator grazes my engorged clit and I moan loudly, grabbing my breasts. God I really want you so badly right now at this moment. I let the vibrator slide up and down my pussy lips and tease the opening of my vagina. I imagine your warm breath against my cheek watching my every move and I slide the vibrator in my wetness, long and soft, it whirrs into me. Slowly I begin to pull it out, the vibration still stimulating my clit. Back in I push Willie, all the way in and then I began quickening the pace. In and out Willie plunges into my hole as I massage my breasts with my free hand.

I moan with each breath, struggling not to be too loud when all I feel like doing is gasping your name out loud. I begin to rock my hips harder and faster against the vibrator. I can feel my climax beginning to build as I squeeze the plastic cock, wishing hard that it was your cock that I was gripping with my pussy, pushing you closer to your own climax, anticipating the gush of warm semen shooting against the walls of my cervix. My entire body is writhing on the bed as if possessed. Images of your face toying with me and my breath becomes laboured and my heart racing. Squeezing against the vibrator, I picture your face leaning in to kiss me and I imagine you moaning as I massage your balls as your cock is being squeezed hard by my pussy.

That image pushes me over the edge and my moans are almost continuous. My hand almost a blur I force Willie to fuck me. My body becomes rigid and tense and I start to climax in uncontrollable waves. I am so close to screaming your name as I coax another climax out of my soaking wet pussy. I feel myself cum and my juices trickle down my ass and down my thigh. I ease the strokes as my climax subsides and my vagina becomes painfully sensitive. With a flick of my finger I turn off Willie and slide him out of my pussy.

I sigh heavily and lay completely relaxed on my bed, my heart beating so fast that I can hear it pounding in my head. I smile to myself wondering just what your reaction would be if you knew you had a seat in my thoughts as I masturbated to fantasies of you.

Still I Rise

2009-07-15T01:09:00.003+08:00

I have been feeling overwhelmed, drained and empty this past couple of weeks. But thanks to a friend of mine who posted this poem by Maya Angelou on Facebook, I only have to read it to pick myself up again and keep moving on.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

My Father, My Number 1 Guy

2009-06-21T11:17:00.005+08:00

The older I get, the more I love him
I begin to understand what it took
For him to really be a family man
To be a Father is more than biological
It’s not all about bringing home the bacon
or keeping a roof over our heads

It is about the little things in a child’s life
That often go unnoticed and quite under-rated
The understanding glance
The tender hug or the all important
“I’ll pretend I didn’t notice a thing face”
The silent comfort of knowing that Dad is there

You never know the memories
That your child treasures
It could be the laughter on a sunny afternoon
While doing something mundane
Its knowing you are there body heart and soul
And not drifting away busy taking a call

The greatest gift a father could give his child
Is to show a son, how to be a man
And to show a daughter, how to be cherished
The greatest blessing upon a family
Is a man who loves his wife
And treasures his children

I have been blessed with a father
Who put his family above all else
All that he did was for his wife and kid
Hardly a thing for himself
Seldom a day went by where
We were not all at home relaxing and laughing together

I have never been left wanting or yearning
My father, he has always been there for me
He is my wings when I need to fly
My anchor when I need to stay firm
He is my protector, my guide, my friend
He is my Father, my number 1 guy

Happy Father's Day Pa!

You Gotta Check These Out!

2009-06-12T00:11:00.003+08:00

After writing about Jon's big adventure, I started thinking that I actually do know some remarkable people.

Brave people who have chosen to the pick the road less travelled to follow a dream, for survival, to try something new. Whatever the reason it really does not matter, they are doing something they enjoy and they want to share the fruit of their passion with others.

So, I thought, let's showcase them on my blog. At worst, they get some minimal publicity and at best, they will know I admire them! Or should it be vice versa? ha ha ha...

Ok..first up..

1. The Box Market

These cute, snazzy and downright creative boxes will transform whatever event you are hosting from ordinary to wow! Check out some of the sample pics that are on the blog and do contact them for your next corporate event or to simply just give your gifts a touch of class. The ways in which you can use these boxes are just endless! Drop Lene a line and check out her gorgeous boxes.

Next we have,

2. I'll Be Jammed

Zoe does great unusual jams that have been painstaking home-made. Tired of ho-hum strawberry and yawwwwwnnn marmalade? How does Spiced Pineapple and Mango jam sound? Or Lemon & Mint? These make awesome gifts...in fact, order some custom-designed boxes from The Box Market and grab some uniquely flavoured jams and give them out as birthday gifts.

Saves you the trouble of shopping and everyone will remember your gift. Great idea yes? Of course it is!

Last but not least...

3. Cristang

I absolutely adore the food at Gerald's. There is nothing more satisfying than a P7 burger. Eh? P7? What the heck is that? Let me tell you my friend, pork burger patties and sambal petai were made for each other. Throw in a juicy bacon slice and melted cheese in between crispy yet spongy buns, you are on the road to gastronomic heaven. Pair this sinfully rich burger with a lime sour that was specially concocted by Gerald and you will be wishing you could start the meal again! I am serious! Petai and pork go together. I can't eat an ordinary burger ever again.

Erm..he has other stuff there as well, traditional Portuguese dishes as well as a variety of dishes created by Gerald. (inspired by greedy patrons)

When you go there, do ask for a serving of the Orgasmic Potato Mash. I named that dish! And yes it certainly was!

So there you ago, 3 amazing entrepreneurial effort by people who weren't afraid to go at it on their own.

Journey of Hope

2009-06-11T23:13:00.003+08:00

A journey of a lifetime starts with one step…

A journey of the heart starts with one good deed…

My name is Jon Ng and I’m embarking on a 500 day journey around the world. A journey to inspire generosity, to bring hope and to save lives…

That is an excerpt from the website of Jon Ng and Kelvin Sim. It will record the journey they are embarking around the world in 500 days. A journey to fulfill a dream, to make a difference, to leave an impact.

The very first time I met Jon, was a couple of months ago by a roadside mamak stall in Taman Tun. I was struck by his child-like wonder and absolutely fun personality. I would have believed him if he said he was in still in high school. But I wasn't completely fooled because underpinning that boyish innocence was a cavernous mind that thought deeply about life and captured its beauty artistically through the lenses of his camera.

His talent in photograply already left me awed but nothing prepared me for the knowledge about his journey of hope.

Not many people inspire me or leave me humbled. Jon Ng has managed to do just that.

How many of us sit at our offices daily wishing that we could live our dreams?

How often do we think of the could-haves and should-haves?

Do you ask yourself, if you were nearing the end, did you do it all? What difference did you make in the lives of others?

Jon took his deepest compassion for the plight of malnourished children and his strongest desire to see the world and turned it into an amazing journey of hope around the world in 500 days. This monumental trip took years of planning and that in itself is already a testament to Jon's determination to see it through, to make it a reality.

I love him for his heart, I admire him for his courage and I am humbled by the path he has chosen to live his life.

Please visit We Deed It to follow this amazing adventure and to learn more about Jon and Kelvin. If you can help in any way, please do so. These remarkable men, need all the support they can get. Catch their Live Interviews on NTV7 and TV3.

I am all geared-up, to experience a cross-cultural extravaganza of epic proportions!

However so, the bottom line is, I want to make a stand. I want to leave an impact, for the sake of the children and if a journey around the world leaves an imprint on the hearts of people, let it be for the children. For those who suffer in silence, let us be their voices. Let us cry out and make a difference… Jon Ng

50th Birthday Tribute to a Dear Friend, AJ

2009-06-08T14:16:00.004+08:00

Without You

I wonder what life
would have been like
Gloomy days would be rife
Without you no move it move it!

I wonder who would
care if I cried
My tears who could
wipe dry without you

I wonder what my
day would be like
Without laughter I'd die
Without you, no joy

I wonder how to
ever thank you for
all that you do
Without you, no dreams

I wonder if God
will ever bless me with
a friend to be awed
like you ever again

Without you darling Toh,
I would never have known
laughter that leaves me aching
love that keeps me secure
care that keeps me grounded
sms proverbs to keep me hoping
sneezes that trigger car alarms... :D

Without you AJ
I would never have
been blessed with
an angel friend on earth!

Blessed 50th You Horny Goat!
June 07, 2009

Listing Love

2009-05-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

"Make a list!", says Mr.Ph.D and lurve author.

"Make a list of everything you want your dream guy to be. You have to be clear on what you want before you can attract him into your life."

And be "specific" especially if little things like inches, age and erm..neatness is important to you. Well, the lurve doctor didn't say that, Maya did. Maya who made her list and got what she asked for except for the neat bit. Maya who now spends a considerable amount of time cleaning up after her hot and sexy guy. But I guess being hot and sexy, he makes up for Maya's lack of specification on her List.

Anyway, this isn't about Maya and her list. It is about me and mine. It is about me getting everything that I asked for and more. And yet, I hesitate. I ponder. I am like a deer caught in the headlights.

I want to redo my list but Maya says I am being a fickle bitch. Well, technically she said I am just being a bitch but I added the fickle part simply because it made more sense. What if my list is not done? What if I think I want certain things and until I actually get it, that is when I realise I don't really want it? You know like when you are eating at a French restaurant and you think you simply must have escargot because that is just what you should have in a hoity toity French place. And when it is served, you look at it and decide you rather just have the breadsticks.

Okay, so this is what I think I want...

1. Older than me
2. A business owner
3. Wants to get married
4. Has $$
5. Captivated by me
6. Does what ever I ask
7. Loves to travel
8. Willing and able to give me all the material things in life that I covet
9. Cherishes me & believes in being faithful
10 Protective and caring

and I get everything (and more!) yet, I feel nothing but fear and apprehension. So much for the list. Maybe I didn't do it right. Why do I want the breadsticks? Why??

Elizabeth Gilbert in her illuminating book; Eat Pray Love has this to say about how we create the men we want:

"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need from them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we create in the first place."

Alright, it is not exactly about getting what's on our list but more of trying to get what we want from our existing partners. Although I didn't start a relationship with this man, I am devastated. Why? Because he was everything I asked for and yet he still could not be what I wanted him to be. And that forces me to confront myself.

Now, that is one scary thing to do. And I am not sure I am ready for that, to know what it is I want. But what is becoming clear, is knowing what I don't want to be anymore. Again Liz expresses my sentiments perfectly,

"But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings."

Even though I am tired, tired of Loneliness in bed with me every night and waking up with Depression who stalks me all day. I am just going to S U R R E N D E R to the rhythm of life and hopefully develop the blind faith that is needed to know that one day through a series of fortunate incidents, he will somehow end up in front of me. It will not be just our bodies we share but he wants to share his heart and I am willing to share mine.

And that I would finally experience Love as Gibran describes it in The Prophet;

"And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days."

Or maybe I should just make a more specific list.

What do you think?

Was It Worth It?

2009-05-24T02:02:00.002+08:00

Some things in life
demand great sacrifice
for its
worth

Some people in life
inspire deep love
for their
essence

Some gestures in life
touch hearts forever
they are
priceless

Some decisions in life
wound beyond repair
cannot be
undone

What was once priceless
Who once inspired
Now stark
cold

Was it worth it?
To create illusions
And lose
me?

What did you gain?
Puppet on strings
Minus the
soul

What did you lose?
An unconditional heart
Unquestioning love
me

Was it worth it?
I guess so
Its only
me

My Ginny

2009-05-24T01:33:00.003+08:00

Pics of my darling Ginny...She is 10 years old now. Can't believe she's been with me for a decade now. She is such an adorable and loving companion.

BreakEven

2009-05-23T23:58:00.004+08:00

From l-r; Dave, Dawnne, Joshua, Ron & Rueben (kneeling in front)

A group of my friends have formed a band called BreakEven. They play every Thursday at Aliyaa Island Restaurant & Bar. I am a regular fixture there every week eventhough I have to literally drag myself to work on Friday!

The band is led by Joshua Ambrose on vocals, Rueben Thomas (of Naked Breed fame) on guitar, Dawnne Matias (an ex male underwear model from the Philippines) on keyboards, Dave Abishegam on bass and last but not least, the handsome Adrian Rudess Ron on drums.

They play stuff that you don't usually hear live bands play and considering how new they are, they do sound amazing.

Battered Prawns & Chicken Pie

2009-05-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

Irregular Ramblings

2009-05-23T16:43:00.003+08:00

It has been more than a year since my last post. And I am still quite surprised that there are folks STILL regularly checking to see if I have added anything new.

Life has been having it's way with me this past year or so. I was vulnerable, weak and downright stupid and life well, capitalized on the situation I put myself in. Blogs are amazing things because you tend to bare your soul for the world to view every detail of your life.

But, some things are just not meant to be shared.

The outcome however is a different story.

When I look at the last post I wrote in here, I can see so clearly how much I have changed within 12 months. And I can't help but wonder how I have become who I am now.

Where did the dreams go? How did it die? How have I become what I am?

Meeeoooooooowwww!

2007-07-13T07:26:00.000+08:00

Cat fights, don't you just love them? Well, not the screechy serenades of lurve by your favourite scallywags at 3.59am in your back alley. No, these cat fights are far more irritating and don't come with a err..happy ending.

I am talking about those lethal backstabbers of the female variety who smile at your face, laugh with you, yet the moment your back is turned, there she is wielding a shiny new blade she twists into your back.

Am I bleeding profusely from my back, you ask? Yes I am. Well, nothing new. My back is well scarred from the attacks of many women, right from the time I was a teenager. I used to think there was something wrong with me but you know what? There probably is a long list of behavioural defects that define my personality but heck, who cares! That's just me!

I love who I am. I adore my effervescent personality and the fact that I am open in my expressions of affection for people I care about. I like it that I can slide into a conversation with the boys and not get offended by their raunchy conversations. I am proud that I am able to reach out to any person, regardless of age, gender or race. I love the body that I have been given, cellulite, rolls of flesh, curves and all. I am proud of my assets and most importantly, I adore my sexuality and sensuality.

Heck, if you find that irritating, I really don't care. Just have the guts to say it to my face and quit smiling at me like you are a friend.

Don't hate me coz I am beautiful! :-)

Lord of Beginnings

2007-06-24T18:30:00.000+08:00

*Vakratunda Mahaakaaya Suryakotee Sama Prabha
Nirvighnam kuru mey Deva
Sarva kaaryeshu Sarvadaa

My spiritual path has been anything but predictable since I attained the ripe ol' age of 12. And it had everything to do with a young Catholic priest I met who took my tender child-like curiosity & bubbling anti-establishment spirit, and gave it wings. He welcomed my abhorrence for mindless rituals and challenged the view in which I saw religion. While other pubescent teenagers were busy flipping through Sweet Valley High novels, I was deep in thought pondering over the letters he used to write to me or I would be addictively entrenched in life-changing books he shared with me like "The City of Joy".

I was slowly and decidedly moving away from organized religion and immersing myself instead into a journey of self-awareness. A journey that took me to Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhism, Nichiren Daishonin, Christianity, Islam, Wicca and numerous other spiritual paths that have no labels. I was not searching for one god to worship but rather I was looking to awaken every part of my conscious and sub-conscious being. Through understanding the way others viewed their spirituality, I learned to understand my place & purpose in life better. Any path of worship that could illustrate the connection we as humans have with the energy that surrounds us was of great interest to me. On the other hand, ritualistic religions that imposed a strict code of conduct on its devotees that (to me) appeared to be worship out of obligation & fear, didn't intrigue me.

Hinduism was one such religion that didn't intrigue me. Simply because I was never close enough to anyone who truly practiced it. Whatever knowledge I had was based purely on assumption. And most of those were peppered with prejudices & biasness.

So when a friend of mine, Smelly Cat, invited me to accompany her to a Hindu temple after work one evening, I accepted. More out of wanting to give her moral support as she had married a Hindu and was attempting to understand & practice the religion. To say I felt like Inspector Gadget trapped in Amish country would have been a gross understatement.

First of all, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Amidst a sea of colorful sari-clad women & traditionally attired men was me; dressed in tight black office slacks and a spaghetti-strapped top that I had to hide under a heavy jacket I normally wear in the comfort of air-conditioned spaces. Definitely not your typical temple-going garb! Ignoring the curious stares I was getting I stayed close to Smelly Cat and told her that I was going to mirror her every move. On hindsight that wasn't particularly brilliant of me as she hardly knew what she was doing either. But at the very least, she knew more than me.

So, we paid to buy offerings of coconut & flowers. And we got it blessed by the priest who then took our offerings into an almost hidden chamber in which the statue of Lord Ganesha resided. By this time, I was oblivious to the sounds of the street and the movement of people shuffling about the temple. I closed my eyes, lulled by the gentle and soul inspiring chants, I just spoke to Lord Ganesha, offering up the most heartfelt prayer I have ever made in a long long while to any God or deity.

When it was time to leave, I was really quite sad for no apparent reason. For such a long time, I had been feeling restless and my heart was never at peace even when I was in bed at night. But for a few minutes at the temple, I felt a calmness I hadn't felt in a long while. And it surprised me totally because it was the last place I would have expected to feel that way.

Anyway, I didn't think much of it until a couple of weeks ago when my mom went for a minor surgery to remove a cyst. It was then the doctor (Dr. Ganesh) discovered that my mom's blood pressure was sky rocketing. He put her on pressure pills and it has improved the quality of her life tremendously. Previous complaints of dizzyness & feelings of malaise have all but disappeared.

I couldn't help but think of the prayer I made at the temple of Lord Ganesha; asking him to protect my mom and to give her good health. Anyway, coincidence or not, I told Smelly Cat that I wanted to go back to the temple to give thanks to Lord Ganesha. Unknowingly, the day that I mentioned this to her was a sacred day for him according to Hindu rites. When I returned home, I casually mentioned to my mom about my prayer for her to Lord Ganesha and how apt it was that she was under the care of a doctor who was new to us and he is named Ganesh.

My mom is a Buddhist and although she "converted" to Catholicism to marry my dad, her belief in the Buddhist way of life never faded. She smiled when I told her about my little one on one with Lord Ganesha and said she wasn't surprised. She then started to tell me about the time she was rooming in the home of a Hindu family when she was single & was being pursued relentlessly by my dad. She would kneel everyday at the altar of Lord Ganesha and seek his wisdom and counsel in helping her make the decision on accepting my dad's proposal.

It was totally unknown to me all these years that my mom had worshipped at his feet daily for many months. So, it's hardly surprising then, that he was watching out for her.

I have spent most of the past 3 years, learning and understanding Wicca. Part of the Wiccan practice is to find the God & Goddess who "speaks" to you. I have been told by elders of the Wiccan faith, that they will seek you out and you will know when they do. I think Lord Ganesha has with resounding clarity told me he is mine.

I wonder if it's another coincidence that my nanny when I was a baby was named after his mother, Parvati.

In any case, he has opened the door to another spiritual world that I am absolutely intrigued to know more about.

Notes:
1. *Mantra To Lord Ganesha:
O Lord Ganesha of Large body, curved trunk, with the brilliance of a million suns, please make all my work free of obstacles, always.
2. Ganesha is worshipped as the lord of beginnings and as the lord of obstacles (Vighnesha), He is honoured with affection at the start of any ritual or ceremony and invoked as the "Patron of Letters" at the beginning of any writing. patron of arts and sciences, and the god of intellect and wisdom.

Remaining Open To Love

2007-05-23T08:20:00.000+08:00

There are times when we long to be able to help someone whom we love very much, but we can do nothing. Circumstances will not allow us to approach them, or the person is closed off to any gesture of solidarity and support.

Then all we are left with is love. At such times, when we can do nothing else, we can still love - without expecting any reward or change or gratitude.

If we do this, the energy of love will begin to transform the universe about us. Wherever this energy appears, it always achieves its ends. 'Time does not transform man. Will power does not transform man. Love transforms,' says Henry Drummond.

I read in the newspaper about a little girl in Brasília who was brutally beaten by her parents. As a result, she lost all physical movement, as well as the ability to speak.
Once admitted to hospital, she was cared for by a nurse who said to her every day: 'I love you.' Although the doctors assured her that the child could not hear and that all her efforts were in vain, the nurse continued to say: 'Don't forget, I love you.'

Three weeks later, the child recovered the power of movement. Four weeks later, she could again talk and smile. The nurse never gave any interviews, and the newspaper did not publish her name, but let me set this down here, so that we never forget: love cures.

Love transforms and love cures; but, sometimes, love builds deadly traps and can end up destroying a person who had resolved to give him or herself completely. What is this complex feeling which, deep down, is the only reason we continue to live, struggle and improve?
It would be irresponsible of me to attempt to define it, because I, along with every other human being, can only feel it. Thousands of books have been written on the subject, plays have been put on, films produced, poems composed, sculptures carved out of wood or marble; and yet all any artist can convey is the idea of a feeling, not the feeling itself.

But I have learned that this feeling is present in the small things, and manifests itself in the most insignificant of our actions. It is necessary, therefore, to keep love always in mind, regardless of whether or not we take action.

Picking up the phone and saying the affectionate words we have been postponing. Opening the door to someone who needs our help. Accepting a job. Leaving a job. Taking a decision that we were putting off for later. Asking forgiveness for a mistake we made and which keeps niggling at us. Demanding a right that is ours. Opening an account at the local florist's, which is a far more important shop than the jeweller's. Putting music on really loud when the person you love is far away, and turning the volume down when he or she is near. Knowing when to say 'yes' and 'no', because love works with all our energies. Discovering a sport that can be played by two. Not following any recipe, not even those contained in this paragraph, because love requires creativity.

And when none of this is possible, when all that remains is loneliness, then remember this story that a reader once sent to me.
A rose dreamed day and night about bees, but no bee ever landed on her petals.
The flower, however, continued to dream. During the long nights, she imagined a heaven full of bees, which flew down to bestow fond kisses on her. By doing this, she was able to last until the next day, when she opened again to the light of the sun.

One night, the moon, who knew of the rose's loneliness, asked: 'Aren't you tired of waiting?'
'Possibly, but I have to keep trying.'
'Why?'
'Because if I don't remain open, I will simply fade away.'
At times, when loneliness seems to crush all beauty, the only way to resist is to remain open.

A Pot Of Luck

2007-05-23T07:56:00.000+08:00

I was reading an article the other day about Pirates aka the ones like Capt Jack Sparrow, being a thing of the past I totally disagree.

They abound and are rampant in every city and suburb of Malaysia. Cleverly disguised as one of the iconic symbols of Malaysia; The Mamak. Gone are the days when "eating out at the mamak" was synonymous with cheap food. Just walk into any Curry House and a simple meal of rice, meat and veggies can set you back by about RM8.

If you are working, you will find that you really are at the mercy of these joints because you just get bored eventually by the choice of food that you have at lunch time. Driven by rising costs and total frustration of having to decide daily on where we were going to have our lunch, the Pot Luck Lunch was born.

On the menu today, so far (it's only 8am and not all of us are in the office yet) is steaming white rice, spicy "kung po" chicken and sambal squid.

Now the challenge we face, is keeping the food away from two hungry wolves who have a talent for devouring food in a blink of an eye.

Coming Attractions!

2007-05-22T08:18:00.001+08:00

Ok...I know I have missing for a bit...well a rather loooonggggg bit. But I'm back and you will soon be able to be bored to tears by reading my exploits & random thoughts.

Lots have happened. Oh yes they have! But patience my preciousss...all will be revealed. Well, almost all.... *grins*

In a nutshell, I am single and liberated from the shackles of all that has been overtly and deceptively toxic in my life.

The slavemaster calls now and I have to get my tush to the grindstone.

Keep checking this space!

I was absolutely overwhelmed by the messages I received from as far away as Slovakia asking me about my absence! And of course, from my family & friends who for reasons best known to them, have missed my usually inane ramblings about pussies and stuff.

Well, thanks for all your messages, it's basically what has driven me back to my blog.

Till later my faithful readers... *kiss*kiss* (will you just allow me my 5 seconds of delusional fame please??...thank you!)

Cremation or Burial?

2007-02-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted to be cremated and my ashes fed to the wind in the middle of the sea. The thought of rotting away entombed in a muddy grave was repugnant to me.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, thats what I wanted.

But after the funeral yesterday, I realised that the choice should not be mine to make but rather the family or loved ones that I leave behind. For my aunt, there really wasn't a choice, they are devout Methodists so cremation is unthinkable for them.

It was the first time I had been to a Christian burial ground. One would think Catholic or Christian it would be the same considering that they are side by side in Ipoh! But I noticed one stark difference; there weren't any candles at the Christian one. Just neat plots with headstones and lots of pretty flowers.

I found myself walking slowly around them looking at the epitaths. And I finally realised why some choose to be buried instead of cremated. Its a visual remembrance, a deep comforting solace for those remaining that as they stand or kneel at the site, the physical substance of their loved one is one with the earth below them.

There still remains a thread of connectivity between the living and the dead on the soil of the ground to remember. Something which ashes in an urn fail to replicate eventhough its the more practical solution these days with land being such a scarce resource.

It was a very moving ceremony at the gravesite yesterday, short and sweet. Unlike Catholic burials that tend to go on and on until you feel like you have lived all your nine lives. However, my uncle was rather unceremoniously lowered into the ground by some inexperienced grave diggers. Instead of resting in peace, he was jolted by quite a loud thud as one of them lost his grip on the rope.

Prayers continued to be said on top of all the shouting between the diggers and as they started closing the grave I noticed with horror that a little frog was desperately trying to climb out! There was no way I could have stopped the ceremony but I just focused on the frog and willed it to get out. After 6 or 7 futile attempts, it finally managed to hop away without being shoveled back in!

Its hard to know that a loved one is now lying cold in a grave but it is comforting that you at least have a place to go to and know that as you dig your fingers into the earth, he or she is still very much connected to this land.

2007-02-19T12:02:00.000+08:00

Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

-William Shakespeare/Macbeth 1606

My uncle Andrew passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning. The previous day, he was enjoying a quiet evening with his wife and another aunt of mine. All he complained about was feeling a little uneasy.

The next morning, he went out for his morning walk and when he got home, he told my aunt that he wanted to have a little nap. Suddenly he called out for her from his bed and when she reached him, he was gone.

I can't even begin to imagine the shock and anguish she must have felt at that moment when she realised he had passed on. She was all alone in the house staring at the body of her husband.

He loved life but never really got to enjoy most of it. Horses were such a passion of his, never missing the Ipoh races. And I was really looking forward to introducing Prince Charming to him as they would have had lots to talk about. But it was not meant to be.

He wasn't blessed to walk his daughters down the aisle nor see any of his beloved nieces & nephews start their own lives.

Life handed him a lot of challenges that for most times left him a very misunderstood person but despite everything, there is one defining characteristic of him that all of us cousins can never deny, he was very loving towards us and often wanted to pamper us in some way or another.

It is sad that it takes such grief for the family to come together again. Hopefully that by his death, we are reminded of the love we have for each other and learn to put past hurt and grievances where they belong; in the past.

Nearly 17 years ago, it was expected that my mom would have been the first widow amongst her sisters. But thankfully, my father cheated death and is still with us today. At times like this, I look at him and my heart swells with happiness that we have the relationship that we do now.

I have no regrets and that's the way life should be for its too short for what could have beens & what should have beens.

Rest in peace Uncle Andrew. You are finally free from the shackles of this life and can now soar into a new existence with lightness in your soul.

Gibran on Friendship

2007-02-17T02:46:00.000+08:00

AND a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.

And he answered, saying:

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love
and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger,
and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you
fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor
do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases
not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all
thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born
and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you
grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may
be clearer in his absence, as the mountain
to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friend-
ship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the dis-
closure of its own mystery is not love but
a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable
is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide,
let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should
seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not
your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let
there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart
finds its morning and is refreshed.
-excerpt from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran

Foxy Is Gone

2007-02-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

I suspect either on Feb 12 or Feb 13, Foxy must have died. The last time I saw her, she was frail and lethargic sitting under a drain.

I went back to look for her on the 14th, but she was not visible.

Its painful when an animal you have loved and cherished passes on and you can't find their body to give them a respectable send off.

Lacey is all on his own now. Poor lil fella. So now, even the back of my house is quiet and pretty much lifeless.

I never realised how deeply entrenched all of them have been in me so much so now, there is a void I cannot describe.

People allow you time to mourn and grieve when you lose a human but somehow think the loss of an animal can be overcome much easier and expect you to be back in business in a flash. So you let yourself go with the flow because it hurts less compared to hearing comments that are unfeeling and unthinking.

You long for quiet understanding instead of having to articulate your feelings. And to your surprise someone you have known for a couple of months whom you haven't met, relates your pain without you having to say a word. Or someone you met by chance offers you unconditional support and shows you they care in little tiny ways that mean a lot.

When they were alive and were with me, my babies taught me so much about animal behaviour and the interaction between man & beast. But their greatest lesson has been in their death for it has shown me the lengths I am capable of going to nurture and the pain I am able to endure.

The very depths of me have already been ripped out, I can only just move on and be comforted in the thought that I gave them the best I could. And maybe one day, Prince Charming and I will be able to make the dream we have of having a sanctuary a reality for all those unfortunate fur babies who weren't lucky enough to be born as pedigree animals.

The "Paradox"of Empathy

2007-02-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about empathy and we had opposing viewpoints on it. I claim that it is an innate human capacity to experience another person's emotional thought, feeling or experience. A capacity very much alike to compassion, warmth etc. Its either part of you or not.

She however feels empathy is selective thus choosing to empathize on things that are only important to her or for people she deems worthy of her empathy.

So a googling I went to deepen and broaden my understanding of "empathy". And here's what I have found:

It is the root ability of being able to be involved in the inner experience of sharing in and comprehending the momentary psychological state of another person(def: Roy Schafer) are probably innate to the empathizer's life, training or investigation.

D.M Berger expands on that definition to include understanding from within the frame of reference of that other person.
The opposite of empathy being apathy, is a state of indifference. A condition many of us have whenever we turn on the news or read the papers. Empathy involves feeling and sharing the pain of another and in experiencing empathy for people in war torn nations, some cases have led to clinical depression. In this context, I would have to agree with my friend in having a certain degree of selectiveness in the levels of our empathy for our own self preservation & emotional health.

However, I do believe that "selective empathy" erodes the foundation of a friendship or a relationship. Without a basic emotional understanding of the other there is no relationship. It is the difference between standing back and saying "I am sorry for you and wish things were better" ie sympathy and being one with the person with "I know your pain and can relate to your mental state right now."
So, coming back to my friend's statement of empathizing only with things that are important to her, I conclude that its an oxymoron because the essence of empathy lies in sharing and experiencing the feelings of another person (def: R.R Greenson)

Some experts however believe that not all people have the ability to have empathy or perceive the emotions of others. And research also shows that people empathize easier with those with similarities or people they meet frequently. Hence selective empathy on things that are important to them or the people they choose to empathize with does clearly show their level of connectivity with the people they have shown apathy for.

Indifference manifests in many ways, highlighting the absence of empathy. Wynn Schwartz defines it brilliantly as "We recognize others as emphatic when we feel they have accurately acted on or somehow acknowledged in stated or unstated fashion our values, our motivations, our knowledge our skills and our competence but especially as they appear to recognize the significance of our actions in a manner that we can tolerate their being recognized."

In the context of a relatively close friendship the absence of such recognition and understanding of our actions can only be described as indifference. Proof of apathy being demonstrated in insensitivity of actions or words that clearly illustrates to the other person that the friend or partner is unable to perceive their mental and emotional state.

The statement of "he/she doesn't understand me at all" doesn't seem to be so flaky after all. It is the difference between surface sociability and quiet understanding. It isn't about the length of time the relationship has gone through but the level of commitment you have to the other person, to allow yourself to empathize despite the potential emotional risk to yourself.

Teddy Bear & Chocolate Memorial Day

2007-02-14T13:39:00.000+08:00

On this day, where ever the bug has reached, millions of teddy bears die horrific deaths by being stuffed into glitzy boxes that are tied up with big bows & ribbons. Kazillion ounces of chocolate melting to their deaths on the tongues of wanton greedy wenches. While armies of florists and other merchandisers laugh gloriously all the way to the bank.

Yes folks, the annual nausea inducing day is here once again. Where fools in love are drawn to overly priced restaurants for candle lit dinners that mask the less than average food and showers a sickly glow on the woman's plastic smile & paint ridden face.

Oops...do I sound a tad cynical? Well, maybe I am because seriously, just one day in a year to pull out all the stops to show the people you love, you care??? Its about being there when they need you, its about being honest and supportive, its about being a friend and a lover. And as my Prince Charming always says, its about sharing and teamwork.

I like the way things are going with Prince Charming and time will tell how deep and far that goes. So anyway folks, this V Day, if you wanna show you care, make a pledge to love and respect her/him everyday, mean it and walk the talk!

Malaysians In The News

2007-02-07T03:11:00.000+08:00

1. Congratulations Zabrina & Jo Jer for winning the Amazing Race Asia! WOOOOOOOHOOOOO! You girls did us proud!

2. Congratulations Surech for being the first Malaysian to climb the "unclimable" Ama Dablam. You are totally one cool cucumber man. Should have done a "groupie" thing and got your autograph last Saturday!

3. Malaysia Boleh! to our first ever outing at the Asian Winter Games, thanks to our ice hockey team. Woot! Woot!

4. Congratulations Glamour Girl, Siti Nurhaliza on your invitation to walk the red carpet at the Grammy Awards this Sunday.

What I Have Learned....

2007-02-07T02:21:00.000+08:00

1. Its pointless to make a detailed plan for your life, events on one day can change everything.

2. No matter how much you want to hold on to a pet or a loved one, when its time to go, its time to go.

3. You will be amazed who ends up being your emotional support in times of need.

4. There is no more alone feeling in the world when those closest to you cannot emphatise with your pain.

5. There ARE seven degrees of connection between people, made a crazy connection between a friend and a relative this week.

6. People usually make promises they have no intention of keeping.

7. What you Give is not necessarily what you Get.

8. Don't judge another person's decisions unless you have walked a mile in his shoes.

9. Do not underestimate the power of love.

10. Dot your I and cross your T in all that you do, all the time.

Maddie N Ginger's Adoption

2007-02-07T01:44:00.000+08:00

Ginger (top)
Maddie (bottom)

On Sunday, February 4, 2007, we decided to put Maddie and Ginger at Mayo Clinic for adoption.

It was an excruciatingly painful decision for me, almost akin to putting up my own flesh and blood for adoption. They were the first kittens I witnessed being born 4 years ago and Maddie especially formed such a bond with me.

I felt like an ogre to have done that but circumstances have proved too difficult for me to continue having them. Anyway, just as I was settling them into their cages at the clinic, this angel and her niece & daughter walks into the clinic. Within half an hour, they decided they wanted them both.

I was stunned, happy and sad all at the same time. But the vibes I had from this lady were good so I felt peaceful that they would be in good hands. I called her yesterday and she said that Ginger is settling in fine but Maddie is still terrified. That aches my heart so badly to know she is frightened and I pray that she overcomes that soon.

My home looks so deserted now, where once many cats bounded and tumbled in play now lie desolate and quiet.

The only ones I have left in my zoo are the free roaming ones; Tiger, Latte & Annie at the front and Lacey & Foxy at the back. They don't need to go just as yet so at least I still have them to cuddle & love.

Farewell Kit

2007-02-07T01:36:00.000+08:00

Kit meowed her last purr on February 1, 2007.

It has been an emotionally-scraping week for me and its the main reason why I haven't updated the blog.

What can I say? Prince Charming and I are equally incensed over Kit and Kat's deaths as there is no real clear reason why they are dead. Nothing can be done now so it will be one of those questions that will never be answered.

Anyway, at least now, Musky and her favourite two babies are all together at that Rainbow Bridge.

Bye Bye Kat

2007-01-30T14:07:00.000+08:00

Somewhere between 11.00am and 12.30pm, my beloved little Kat finally passed on over to the great Rainbow Bridge in the sky.

I am glad her misery is finally over and hopefully she will now be snuggling against her momma whom she loved so dearly, Musky. I hope she would forgive me for not having the strength to put her to sleep earlier but I wanted to give her every chance to survive.

As I lifted her lifeless body and gently wrapped her up, I was surprised how heavy she was dead. When a little earlier as I carried her to clean her, she was so frail and light. I don't know why she died with her eyes opened, but they will forever haunt my memories.

Be happy and free my little one. I am going to miss hugging you so much.

Colonial Times v Chutney Mary

2007-01-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

Serving size at Chutney Mary (top)
Interior of Chutney Mary @ Bangsar (bottom)

I just got back from my second Northern Indian dinner in two days. Now that's what you call a serious beriyani overload! All thanks to overseas family from both sides of the family who returned to sunny Malaysia yearning for some naans n stuff.

Anyway, this offered a unique opportunity to really compare two similar restaurants as at least 3 choices were the same for both establishments. They were Chicken Hyderabadi Beriyani, Lamb Roganosh and Spinach & Mushroom Kuftas.

Today was my third visit to Chutney Mary (not to be confused with the famous Chutney Mary of London!) and after my first time dinner at Colonial Times, I have to say without a doubt, Colonial Times wins hands down.

The beriyani at Colonial Times was absolutely exquisite. So moist and addictive that you could just eat it on its own without any accompaniments. The rice was well cooked and apparently cooked in a herb-infused stock. The chicken was flavourful and spiced to just the right amount.

For the first time the beriyani offerings at Chutney Mary paled in comparison. Although tasty on its own, it lacked the intense oomph that I tasted at Colonial Times.

The same goes for the Lamb as well. Colonial Times served us succulent, juicy lamb roganosh that just melted in your mouth. Chutney Mary's lamb although quite tasty, the cut of meat wasn't as good as Colonial Times, it was rather dry.

Last but not least, my favourite dish, the Spinach & Mushroom Kuftas. I fell in love with that dish when I tasted it at a party at Chutneys PJ (related to Chutney Mary). It was soft and creamy and oh so yummylicious. I ordered that same dish at Colonial Times and wasn't disappointed. Although a tad smaller than the one I had at Chutneys PJ, the gravy and mushroom tasted excellent. However, when I had the one served at Chutney Mary today, I was quite disheartened. The spinach balls were hard and didn't melt well with the creamy gravy.

All in all, a visit to Colonial Times @ The Curve ended the fascination I had with Chutney Mary. The only reason I would probably go back to Chutney Mary's is for the decor and quiet ambiance. Colonial Times would be just perfect if it didn't have an atrocious band yelping their lungs out while you try to eat your dinner. It really is no fun having to yell over badly sung strains of "Av-eree bra u take...Av-eree mooov u make..." in between mouthfuls of naan.

Other than that, if you have a hankering for solid good Northern Indian/Global cuisine, head for Colonial Times @ The Curve. Just a tip for you, seat yourself at the balcony as far away as possible from the band!

Tala's Nyonya Chicken Curry

2007-01-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I cooked a nice curry. I normally don't because its always such a bother trying to finish up the whole pot of gravy. But I was in the mood for it today and whipped up a pot earlier. As always, my curries vary depending on my mood and the ingredients that are at my disposal. Here's today's recipe:

Tala's Nyonya Chicken Curry

7 pieces of chicken thigh marinated with:

- 2 tablespoons of olive oil
- 3 tablespoons of Baba's Meat Curry powder
- 1 tablespoon of Lingams Chilli powder
- 1 tablespoon of Shah's Kabab spice mix
- 1 cube of Knorr Chicken stock
- 1 teaspoon of turmeric powder
- sprinkling of salt

Spread mixture evenly over chicken and keep aside.

Peel and quarter 5 average sized potatoes and par boil in boiling water. Drain and set aside.

Blend together:

- 3 red chillies
- 1 big tomato
- 2 red onions
- 5 garlic pods
- 2 inches of ginger
- 2 lemongrass bulbs
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil
- 2 tablespoons of warm water

Buzz in blender till mixture is smooth and like a thick emulsion.

In a cooking pot, place a little amount of oil, just enough to coat the base of the pot.
Heat it up and pour blended ingredients. Saute till aroma is released and mixture turns into a deeper colour and the oil starts to separate.

Add marinated chicken pieces and fry till chicken is evenly coated with blended mixture. Leave it to brown for 5 minutes, tossing so that the chicken doesn't stick to the pot. Then add approximately 3 cups of water or just enough to submerge chicken pieces.

Lower heat and let it simmer gently for 45 minutes. Add parboiled potatoes and 3 dollops of low fat yoghurt. Turn down heat to mild, put lid back on and simmer for another 15 minutes. Or until gravy has thickened to your liking.

I served this today with a mixed salad combo topped with slices of hard boiled egg and raw thinly sliced red onions. The coldness of the salad offsets the spiciness of the chicken curry very well. I added a dash of Italian dressing to mine but you can also add yoghurt if you prefer.

Bleak Future

2007-01-29T13:34:00.000+08:00

If there is one thing that I have learned about life from caring for my Zoo, is that we really do not have to worry about the future trying to make plans.

For the past couple of months I have been agonizing over the fate of my Kit & Kat. They were born in my home and I cared for them until they were ready to be adopted. Unfortunately, even now at 5 months old, no one wants them. I know they don't look like they would be winning Feline competitions but I love them with all my heart. Even shelters are reluctant to take them in as with their limited resources of space, they prefer taking in abused & abandoned animals.

So, I scoured the net daily, posting advertisements all over the place. To no avail. Just a couple of weeks ago their mother, Musky, died and soon after, Kit & Kat came into heat. I realised that no prospective adopted family would want unspayed female cats so I sent them in to get fixed.

Strangely, soon after I brought them home, I noticed Kit wasn't eating, so I took her to the vet. Less than a week after she got ill, previously healthy Kat, started exhibiting the same symptoms. They have been given antibiotics and all other kinds of medication and the situation is still the same. Both of them, refuse to eat, they are not defacating and all they do is just sit and stare.

I am at my wits end and I really do not know what to do. I am force-feeding them daily with a syringe Science Diet AD Formula. They now dread my presence because they seem to be in such discomfort when I feed them the formula.

I really do not know what to do. Its so painful watching them weak and listless. And yet, I cannot bring myself at this point to make any hard decisions. All I can do is, continue feeding them this way 4 times a day and pray that each morning when I wake up, that they are still alive or if a miracle were to come, they would be feeding themselves.

Dory & Potatoes

2007-01-23T16:58:00.000+08:00

Have been under the weather for the past week. Horrid fever and stuff so I didn't do much cooking and was busy attending to my Zoo. Ok, here's what I did on Monday, something easy-peasy that's really simple to put together.

Tempura Dory & Potato Salad

1. Cube dory into 2 inch pieces
2. In a bowl, mix Tempura powder with half a glass of cold water. (I use Tesco brand Tempura premix)
3. Whisk it till its a thick creamy consistency, leave some lumps in because that will make it more crunchy
4. Sprinkle salt and pepper over Dory (for extra flavouring use McCormick Lemon Pepper) and toss them into Tempura batter, mix evenly.
5. In a shallow frying pan, heat about 5 tablespoons of vegetable oil
6. Place Dory pieces and fry till golden brown
7. Drain and serve.

Potatoes

1. Boil 2 or 3 potatoes, cube them chunky
2. Splosh some low fat mayo
3. Sprinkle salt and pepper
4. Add 2 teaspoons of marmalade (I used Danish jam with bits of apple slices)
5. Mix evenly
6. Sprinkle generous amount of chopped chives
7. Chill till serving time

Side Dish

1. Mixed salad pack tossed with Italian dressing
2. Cherry tomatoes
3. Sydney Combo Mixed Sprouts

My Star Quality

2007-01-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

I got this cool site from a friend and well I had tons of fun playing with it. No matter what photo I used, Michelle Rodriguez always came up as a match. Ha ha ha ha!

Get a collage for yourself at www.myheritage.com

Malay Monday (Part 2)

2007-01-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

As promised, here's the recipe for the chicken.

Ayam Masak Merah

1. 4 or 5 pieces of chicken
2. 2 tablespoons chilli powder
3. 2 tablespoons turmeric powder
4. Salt to taste
5. 4 heaped dessert spoons of chilli paste
6. 3 tablespoons Thai Sweet Chilli sauce
7 2 tablespoons Tomato sauce
8 2 lemongrass bulbs sliced finely
9 an inch of ginger sliced finely
10 Enough oil for deep frying chicken

Method:

1. Marinate chicken with chilli powder, turmeric powder and salt
2. Heat oil in pot and place chicken once oil heated
3. Fry till cooked and golden brown
4. Set aside & drain on kitchen towel

5. In a separate pan, place 2 tablespoons of oil that was used to fry chicken
6. Fry lemongrass and ginger till crispy golden brown
7. Set aside and drain

8. Pour another 2 tablespoons of oil into wok
9. Add chilli paste and fry till dark red in colour
10 Add Thai Sweet Chilli sauce and Tomato sauce
11. Let it boil till sauce thickens and reduces to a syrupy consistency
12. Add fried chicken and toss well and coated evenly with sauce
13. Turn off heat and sprinkle crispy lemongrass and ginger
14. Serve with cilantro

Malay Monday

2007-01-15T16:57:00.000+08:00

I still haven't got the charger fixed so you will just have to imagine just how these dishes look like. Today, I decided to go "kampung" (village) and dished out a Nasi Goreng Kampung (Village Fried Rice) and Ayam Masak Merah ( literal translation: Chicken Cooked Red )

Tala's Nasi Goreng Kampung

1. Two or three cups of old cooked rice
2. One onion sliced finely
3. One crushed garlic
4. Two green chillies sliced finely
5. One bowl of long beans, cut about an inch
6. Two eggs
7. Two tablespoons of chopped & fried salted fish
8. Fish oil to taste
9. Chilli paste to taste

Method

1. Fry onions, green chilli and garlic until golden
2. Add long beans & chilli paste, fry till beans are almost cooked
3. Add rice & few splashes of fish oil, not too much though
4. Make a well, and break two eggs in the centre, wait till egg cooks and scramble with rice
5. Fry till egg is cooked and sprinkle salted fish
6. Serve with chopped cilantro

Need to go to the gym now, will post recipe for chicken later tonight.

Underwater World Johor

2007-01-14T14:40:00.000+08:00

Heavy rain from December 06 has caused massive flooding in the southern states of Malaysia. Just as evacuees are returning to their homes, a second wave of floods have hit them badly again. What is happening with our drainage system there? I can't even begin to think how lost and desperate the people affected must feel. Sigh. Damage from the earlier flooding was just assessed and now they are floating in water yet again.

More articles on the floods in Johor

Dogs On Death Row

2007-01-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

Please help find homes for these dogs or forward this to friends who can help at least foster them for awhile.

Musky Was Killed

2007-01-12T14:27:00.000+08:00

Some time ago, I posted that Musky went missing for a few days and that forced me to send her newly born kittens for fostering because they weren't being fed. Anyway, a day or so after I sent those 3 away, Musky returned.

She was frail and disorientated. And all she wanted to do was to enter this cage which was housing her two older kittens; Kit & Kat. Everyday, when I clean out the cage and take them out to play, she totally refused to come out. I didn't really put much thought into her behaviour because she generally was a very quiet and timid cat.

Anyway, yesterday morning, I found her having trouble breathing and I was quite terrified that she had FIP. The disease that killed Kitty in September 2006. So we rushed her to the vet and upon his examination he said he suspected that her diaphragm was ruptured but only an Xray will determine that or if its fluid in her lungs; symptomatic of FIP.

She didn't make it through even the Xray as she collapsed and died.

When we viewed the Xray, the vet pointed out how badly her diaphragm has been ruptured, so much so that all her internal organs had filled the cavity and had pushed up her lungs. She literally was suffocating to death.

Our vet (Dr. Khor from Mayo clinic) was quite certain that she had been hit with a hard object to cause her diaphragm to tear and slowly rupture like it did. Suddenly her behaviour this past month made sense.

Why she suddenly disappeared and left her babies for days without milk, why when she returned she was so disorientated and frightened....

There were no visible wounds on her body when she returned so there was no sign for me to know that she had been physically hurt. But I am seething with anger right now that yet again, barbaric individuals on my street have managed to kill/abuse an animal and I have no proof against them.

I believe that whatever is done, good or evil, returns to the doer threefold. So, I wish upon them their just reward.

Musky, rest in peace my little angel. You were a joy to behold every day you were with me. Love and kisses my precious.

Rude Malaysians!

2007-01-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

This evening at the gym I encountered the Ugly Malaysian. I was at the locker room, walking towards the changing room, hand outstretched just about to grasp the handle when this woman from another changing island brushes past me into the room.

I grabbed the door and held it open and asked her to either queue up behind another girl who was after me or go back to her changing island and queue there. She had the audacity to tell me that it was empty and I asked her if she was blind not to have noticed me reaching for the door handle. She stared at me glumly. And I continued to hold on to the door glaring at her. Finally she tossed her head and stormed out to the area where she came from.

Geez...why are people so self-centred and not bothered about people around them? Typical, me first, everything me me me attitude. Previously there was a woman who wanted to sit in the steam room with the door ajar. I mean, hello, if you can't take the heat then stay out of the room! She expected the others in the steam room to suffer the cold air wafting in just to suit her.
Needless to say, four angry sweaty naked women wrapped in towels yelled at her to get out and come back when we were done. Didn't really need to mention that we were naked and sweaty, just thought it would help you visualize the scenario better.... *wicked grin*